One Decision
by NashMarquez
Summary: he has always wished he was the one. but he threw the chance away and couldn't retrieve it back. R&R please! thanks!


One move. Just one big move that changed everything. Everything that we had between us. That magic. It all started when I met Marisol and decided to marry her. It wasn't all a mistake to marry her but it was definitely a huge mistake letting you go. I did love Marisol but I knew I had loved you since the beginning. Ever since you stepped into the department.

We had memorable moments together that I'll never forget. Those flirting, bantering and just being with you. Those were the memories. Never did I know that we could never be as close as before even after the death of Marisol.

I realized I can never move on from you afterwards. I can never move on from "US". From what we had together once upon a time. I need you back in my life, Cal. I want "US". I need "US". I'm not going to sit back and pretend that I don't want it. I'm definitely not going to sit back and watch you go with another man. I am going to make you mine again, Calleigh. I'm not going to let you go anymore.

"Hey Calleigh. Can I speak to you for a minute?" I said with an authoritative tone. I can see the hesitation in your eyes but I guess the tone in my voice made it sound like it was urgent.

"Sure. What's up Horatio? Is there anything the matter with the case file I sent to your office?" She asked as I brought her to the corner of the lab.

"No. You never make mistakes Cal.. but ermm.. it's something else." _Dammit why am I stuttering!_

"Oookkkkaaayyy… Out with it Horatio. I'm kinda busy you know. Make it quick. I still have unfinished casings to analyze." She said with a higher tone.

"Well…errrmmm…I…I…" I just couldn't say it out. I kept stuttering and fiddling with my glasses and before I could really speak, she'd interrupted my train of thoughts.

"Well Horatio, if you're not going to say anything, then I suggest you stop wasting my time! I am very busy you see, having to handle stuff in the lab plus the paperwork. I'm not like you Horatio. I have things to do!" Those words were so harsh it felt like a stab to my heart.

_Oh Calleigh…If only you knew.. I just couldn't bring myself to say it. I love you Cal, I love you…_

"WAIT! I'm not gonna let you go again Cal! Never in my life! Not as long as I'm still breathing!" I just had to. I can't let her leave again. I can't let the love of my life leave again.

"Seriously Caine? Seriously? You gave away what we had long time ago Caine! Long time ago! And now you're here to tell me this nonsense? I'm sorry but I'm very busy to entertain you!" She retorted back to me as she stormed off towards the lift.

Hanging my head low, I knew deep inside she would never forgive me. I know it was my mistake and I couldn't rewind time. I knew there was nothing I could do to gain your trust; to let me back into your heart; into your life. Staring out the window, I saw you walking out of the building, walking towards the new man in your life, Eric, hugging him and kissing him as he handed you the bouquet of flowers…

_Damn Calleigh, I should be the one holding your hands! I should be the one making you laugh! I should be the one kissing you, tasting your lips. I should be the one giving you that flower. Not Eric._

"Hey H. I guessed you were still here." That voice brought me back to reality.

"Frank. Yes? Anything that you need?"

"Naahhhh.. not really. Wanted to ask you if you wanted to join us at the bar.. the team's coming. You coming?" Frank asked in a chirpy tone.

"I'll pass Frank. I've got tons of paperwork to clear. The chief won't be too happy if I don't complete these. Maybe next time." I declined politely and gave him a weak smile.

_Paperwork? Really, Caine? You know better than this. You know why you're not going. Calleigh being with another man is the reason why. You just couldn't stand it can you? Trust yourself for letting her go, Caine. Oh Caine, don't be stupid. Come on. Why would she give you another chance after hurting her.._

I left a few minutes after Frank. I was too tired. I abandoned the pile of paperwork. I just couldn't bring myself to drown into the paperwork. The only thing on my mind was Calleigh; what she was doing with Eric and I decided to follow them to the bar. No, not with them knowing. They were laughing happily, enjoying the night with friends while I'm alone, thinking about how miserable my life had been.

As time goes by, one by one, the team leaves and of course, the love of my life left with the other man, my brother-in-law. I couldn't resist the urge to follow them and so I did. The beach. They had gone to the beach. The beach where we once shared a wonderful memory together. The beach where we had celebrated our very first anniversary with fireworks that I planned for you.

"Why Calleigh. Why did you bring him here? To a place that hold too much precious memories of us? If you're planning on hurting me, well... Congratulations. You just did that. I'd rather you stab me with a knife through my heart Cal. I'd rather not live than to see you bring another man to a place that we shared memories together" I murmured softly and letting reality sink in very slowly.

I know I would never get to share those moments together with her anymore. A few minutes after, I just left the place. Letting myself suffer alone in agony. In misery. I would never get her back into my life. So I drove the hummer to my favorite Irish bar and drowned myself with Whiskey. I needed this. I need to drown myself and let go of myself. I know I had work the next day but right now, I couldn't care less. I didn't take notice the time but I realized I need to get home. I was as drunk as I could get. The reason I know I was drunk was that I was fumbling across the floor as I walked to the door. As much as I don't get drunk, tonight was the only night I really wanted to get drunk and almost finished half the bottle of whiskey at the bar.

Going towards the hummer, I tried to find my keys but to no avail and so I decided to just walk home. It wasn't the best idea but in my state right now I know I couldn't drive home safe. So instead of driving and meeting with an accident, I walked home and met some hooligans across the street. They were making too much noise that it started to cause my head to throb. The pain was unimaginable that I started cursing them subconsciously. I know that they came charging towards me and the next thing I know was that I woke up in a hospital. I just couldn't figure out why until Frank came in.

"H. What the hell happened to you man? Where'd you go yesterday? I thought you said you had paperwork to do? I've never seen you like this before Horatio!" Frank barged in and bombarded me with questions I couldn't answer.

"Errr.. Frank.. What happened?" I asked in a weak tone.

"Goodness Horatio! I asked you first! You're supposed to know what happened! I wasn't there with you. I just got a call saying that you're in the hospital. And since I was your next-of-kin, they called me. And you still haven't answered me." Frank retorted while pacing up and down the room.

"I don't know. I went to a bar and I think I got drunk. But I know I didn't drive home…"

"What? You went to the bar? I asked you out with the team but you declined and you went to another bar? Which bar!"

"My favourite bar."

"Dammit Horatio!" that was the last thing he said before he stormed out of the room.

I know I was in a bad shape. I was aching all over. And I was rather weak. My head still throbbing in pain. I don't think I can make it to the toilet alone. Let alone stand.

"Hey honey"

"Hey Alexx"

"How are you feeling? You look pretty bad you know. What happened to you honey?"

"Pretty bad Alexx. Pretty bad. I don't know what happened. I can't remember."

"It's okay… you rest alright Horatio. You rest."

She left the room and I tried to recall what happened last night. The only thing I remembered was that I saw Calleigh and Eric at the beach and I went to the bar to get drunk. Hooligans. Yes. Now I remember. I remember them coming to attack me after I screamed at them. _Oh damn. I must be in really bad shape then._

"Hey H. Feeling better?"

"Oh hi Eric. Yes I'm feeling better. Thanks." _All I need was for you to leave me alone. That would make me feel much better. _

"Oh H…we found your Hummer. And…. A seriously injured man H… do you have anything to do with it? Or do you have any idea about it?"

"What? What the hell are you talking about? Are you accusing me of doing that to him? I do remember that there was a couple of hooligans hanging around and the last thing I remember was that they were coming to attack me. And I can't remember the rest."

"H… calm down will ya. We need to know what happened."

"I don't know. And I'm sorry."

"It's okay. You rest alright."

_Damn! Why can't I remember! It must have been the alcohol! I can't even help the team to solve this case. Damn it!_

"Hi H! Hope you're feeling better huh. It's been two days already. We bet you can't wait to get out of this hospital. You being in here for at least a day had been a miracle." The team chuckled as Frank made that remark.

"Yeah yeah. Mock me all you want Frank. I'm getting out today. Oh how was the case? I'm sorry I wasn't of any help at all"

"Case closed. It was one of the other gang hits. It happened after you were hit. I'm sorry H for ever thinking you had anything to do with it." Eric said with an apologetic face.

"It's okay. I'm sorry too. For shouting at you the other day."

"Oh where's Calleigh?"

"She said she had to finish up with a few more cases and couldn't make it." Natalia answered.

"Ahh I see. The ever-hardworking one." Everyone laughed.

I knew that wasn't the reason though. She didn't want to see me. I couldn't do anything. I couldn't possibly ask her to break up with Eric. That's impossible. But I really loved her and I always will. I guess I have to let her be happy with Eric if that's what she wants. But deep down, I'll always want her back. No matter what. How I wish she would want "US" again. I'll wait for as long as I'm still breathing. I'm going to prove that to her. But as long as she's still with Eric, I'll let her be and I'll just suffer alone. As I walked towards my office, I glanced over the Ballistic Lab and saw her petite but elegant form which reminded me of the time we had together, making love and uniting into one. A memory I'll never forget. A time I'll always cherish.


End file.
